I was reading the stories of all the other women who are like me. WOW I am not alone, I am guessing everyone felt like that at one point in your journey. Here is my story.
On July 21st, 2010 I told my boss I would be back in an hour that I had a quick Dr\^s appointment. My appointment was with a new gyno as I just got my insurance from my new job. I actually had not had a pap in about 3 years due to (here my excuses) being busy and one of the years not having insurance.
The Dr got me set up took a look and said WOW, then reached behind her and called in a nurse, she asked the nurse to get her some items, and then turned around to me and proceeded to take the swab she needed, she then again reached back and called for the nurse, who was just returning to my room, the Dr said to call an ambulance and off the nurse went. This all took about 2 or 3 minutes, I said why an ambulance, whats going on. The Dr said " you are hemorrhaging and need to get the the hospital asap" I said I could drive myself as I just drove to the office, She was not having that at all. So off to the hospital I went in an ambulance, I called my sister on the way as I was now terrified and wondering what was going on.
In the emergency room, they got me hooked up to an IV, and Dr\^s and staff were in and out of my little curtained room. One of the Nurses came in and said he needed my signature to authorize a blood transfusion. My sister and I at the same time said What, what is going on. The nurse said I needed the blood as i was really anemic, we had figured this out ourselves based on the reactions of the emergency staff who came into my room, the paleness of my skin made them all stop short in their tracks and questioning. My sister asked what the course of action would be if I did not get the transfusions, we were told they would make me comfortable until i passed. WHAT??? I looked at my sister and said, I have no choice, because I don^t want to die tonight. They started the trans fusions and I was admitted to the hospital.
When my Dr came into the room, so did two other Doctors, they took a look, came to the conclusion I needed to be packed to stop the bleeding, and then I was told the bleeding / hemorrhaging was caused by a tumor, my sister and I were in shock, over the course of a few hours, I kept getting blood and Dr\^s were in and out checking on me, it was decided I needed to have an embolization to try to stop the bleeding, this took place at about 10pm (my gyn appt was at 3:00pm, so much for just running to the Dr) The next morning, (I slept through most of the night due to the surgery, my sister was awake along with my aunt and have since told me that the Dr\^s were afraid I was not going to make it through the night.) I then met another Dr, who came in to explain what was going on, and that is when we were told that I had Stage 3B cervical cancer and that it was inoperable, this Dr is now my primary oncologist, one of the other Dr\^s who seen me that first night is my radiology oncologist, and the other Dr is my gynecological oncologist, within 24 hrs I had my cancer team in place and was starting my external radiation treatments.
I had 8 weeks of external radiation treatments for the cancer which had spread to some of my lymph nodes, and 6 treatments of chemo. I then had 5 internal treatments of brachy (internal radiation) I was only in hospital for about a week, and in that time I had to take the equivalent of 2/3rs of my body^s blood. The Dr^s are not sure how I was still working, moving around etc because of how much blood I had lost.
On November 1st, after all my treatments, scans, being poked and prodded, I was told that I was cancer free BEST Day of my life ever!!!!!
I know the odds of recurrence over 2 years, and the statistics of 5 year survival for stage 3B, but I fought and won!! and I will keep fighting, remember the more we fight, the more we survive, the better the statistic get. I don^t put a lot of weight into the stats, they are not recent, there have been so much advancement in medicine that is not reflected in the numbers that are posted all over the internet, I say hey, someone has to win the fight to increase the stat^s, why not me?
What I have learned is that everyone^s journey through Cervical Cancer is different, we may be on the same road but we each hit different bumps.
I am glad that I found this site, even if it is after being told the cancer is gone. Having a network of women who understand what it is like to hear that diagnosis no matter what stage is comforting. My journey is not over, in fact I think it is really just starting again, now the clock is running on beating the 2year recurrence stat, after that 3 more years until I can say I am a survivor! I look forward to that day, but for now I am happy to say I have no cancer in my body at this time. I have stopped wearing my \"Stupid Cancer\" bracelet and I am waiting for my J K Livin (Just Keep Living) Bracelet to arrive to remind me I have to just keep living, because no matter what I do, eating healthy, taking more vitamins, etc, The cancer might return, and if it does, I don^t want to look back and see that all I had done was spend my time worrying about it. I want to look back and say, hey I did what I could to fight, but mostly I did not waste my time, I Just Kept on Living, and Enjoying Life.
ps. A message to Cassie, those who left you because it was too much for them to handle, don^t fret about that. You need only positive energy in your life to help you fight, if they could not stay and be positive, then you are better off with a smaller circle of positive people around you, and remember you have all of us here on this site.