Survivors

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  • I am a cancer survivor
  • Hello all, I am 35 years old and have regular PAP tests. At least every 2 years. I have never had any come back normal. A few years ago, maybe 5? I went to the ER because I had an ovarian cyst that was bleeding. They did a pelvic exam and the ER doc told me he saw something on my cervix. I remember him saying not to worry and that it is fairly easy to take care of these things nowadays. I just remember thinking \"oh my God, he thinks I have cervical cancer\" I immediately called my gyn. the next day and he got me in immediately because I was pretty hysterical. He did an exam along with a pap and told me my cervix looked completely healthy, he said \"pink and healthy, just like it should look.\" My pap came back normal.
    He said he wasn\^t sure why the ER docs saw redness or irritation, maybe they had scraped it when they inserted the speculum.

    Fast forward to last week, had been experiencing yet more symptoms of ovarian cysts. I have had these since a teenager so I know how they feel. My breasts were also tender. My family physician did a breast and pelvic exam and a pap. I asked how my cervix looked and he said he saw some \"spots\" on it. I asked him if he ever saw spots on other cervixes and he said that yes he had but didn^t really elaborate. He told me not to worry. (of course! yeah right!) I don\^t remember if he said white spots or red spots but for some reason red sticks out in my mind. I have no symptoms of infection like yeast or anything. I looked up cervical cancer on internet and the symptoms are similar to ovarian cyst symptoms. Luckily, I have never noticed any unusual bleeding other than my periods have always been irregular nearly my entire life. But no blood after sex, no pain with sex. I have right leg pain several days before I start my period but again, I have had that since a teen.
    Another detail, I started my period 3 days after the pelvic exam, yes, a normal period.
    So, I am left with years of normal pap tests and now I have \"spots\" on my cervix. I am terrified. I think I am almost ready to hear that I have advanced and invasive cervical cancer. It is horrible and I am paralyzed right now. The results are coming in tomorrow. (I called the Dr. today) I had to call off work tonight because I can\^t concentrate on anything ( I am a Registered Nurse and need to focus well.) Yes and I know as an RN I should be more analytical but I just can\^t. I am scared. I think that if they can SEE spots then it must be advanced cancer and if not, what else is it???
    The only thing that makes me feel a little better is that someone saw something 5 years ago but ever since then my cervix has appeared healthy. ( and I always ask!)Also, and this is VERY embarrassing, before the Dr. did my exam I was changing my clothes and took a paper towel and wiped really hard my vagina and all around because I wanted to be clean for the exam. Could that have caused a problem? I doubt it but just covering everything.

    So, here I sit. In 23 and 1/2 hours I should know the results. If anyone has ever had this experience or even remotely shared some single detail please let me know how it turned out for you. I am begging to feedback. Thanks you.
  • 07-12 -2010
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