Survivors

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  • Hello all, the stories on here are extremely insirational!!!! For those of you who have beaten this nasty monster called cancer, you are true heroes for those of us beginning our battle. Just knowing that I am not alone in my fear, anger, hope and all the other emotions that go along with this journey means more to me than anything right now.

    So my story begins about eight years ago when my oldest had just turned a year old. I got a call from my ob/gyn that my pap had come back abnormal and that I needed to repeat it in three months. So I did and it came back normal and was told to resume my yearly regimin of paps. He said that it was normal and never once was hpv mentioned. Years went by with all paps coming back normal. In 2005 I became pregnant with my now 3 year old daughter. This is when --it hit the fam so to speak. My pap came back abnormal and after my ob did the colposcopy she immediately refered me to an oncologist who did not want to do anything until after I had my daughter, rightfully so. He was able to tell me that just by looking at the lesions, they were atleast high grade dysplasia. I understand now why they don\^t refer to it as \"carcinoma in-situ\" because people like me would just freak out and not look at the situation objectively. Two months after I delivered my daughter, I had the leep and laser surgery. The diagnosis was just as he had said, high grade. The bad part is that it had spread to my vaginal wall and was somehow missed. I went back for check ups every three months to the oncologist mind you and it was not noticed until november of \^08. That december we tried the effudex treatment. My next biopsy and pap came back clean, not even hpv. I thought, \"yes!!! this is all over! I can finally live my life without the fear of cancer looming over me everyday!!\". Every pap since then has been clean as a whistle except for the last pap I had. It came back ASCUS. Last week I had 3 biopsies taken off my cervix and none from my vagina this time. She also shared with me that \"it didn\^t look good\". She also did an ultrasound to check for anything els because of the pain I have and the painful intercourse. Not only do I have the cancer to deal with but now she has told me that I have endometriosis and 2 cysts on one of my ovaries. She said my next step would be a total hysterectomy. I am only 28 and am terrified!! I wanted more children but I know that I have to do what is nessecary now so I can be here for the children I already have. I am scared of what is going to happen to me physically and emotionally after I have the hysterectomy. Will I have to take hormones? I already have to have mammograms every six months due to lumps in my breasts and I know that taking hormones increases your risk for breast cancer. I know that I am crossing bridges that aren\^t even there yet but I am just so scared. I go tomorrow morning to find out what stage this dysplasia and/or cancer is in and if I am in a definate need for a hysterectomy right now. I know that it is indefinate but I am also in school right now on my way to becoming a nurse and am not in any shape to be missing class either. Whheeew, I think I am done now, it felt good to vent to people who know what I am going through! If you have any comments, suggestions, or any advice...PLEASE feel free to let me know. Any thing will help at this point!!
  • 02-10 -2010
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