Survivors

Survivors
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  • Christina
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  • I am a cancer survivor
  • Hello all... as i sit here i feel so scared , alone , angry and boggled. I am 24 yrs old and i have always taken great care of myself. Ive never been drunk nor have i ever smoked or did drugs. I have done everything ive ever needed to keep myself safe. I have 2 wonderful little boys who are 5 and almost 1. For the past couple of years i have had some non vague symptoms.. Unusualy vaginal bleeding and cramps along with fatigue. I have been very pro active in my health. And everytime i saw my OBGYN for it. In july of 2009 i saw my obgyn for a annual... i just found out than that i didnt have a pap since july of 2007.. so i went a whole year without one. I called for my results 2 weeks later and they were not in yet... I waited a few more weeks called and still no available results. I recieved a letter in august stating that they needed to speak to me about some test results , when i called back they looked in my folder and said \" im sorry i worried you , i made a mistake and your results still arnt here\".... in spetember i saw the OBGYN DOC for a follow up he stated that still no news on the pap but if something was wrong he would get ahold of me , and wrote me a RX for birth control. Since than i called numerous times , and finally i asked my family doctor to try and get them. Just this past week my back and pelvic area has hurt so bad i cant stand it , so i called my OBGYN for an APPT. And while i was on the phone i asked if the results were in... the same receptionist i always talked to before got on the phone and said \" weve been trying to reach you they are abnormal\"... i got very mad went and collected all my paperwork from them and took them to my family doctors.. in july of 09 my results came back as \"high grade squamous lesion CIN 3 severe dysplasia\".. i couldnt believe it... after looking my in folder i stumbled across an old pap result from july of 2007... it was abnormal with abnormal cell changes with unknown significance.... also i was HPV positive. They NEVER once told me that!! I was 2 mos pregnant when that was taken and i saw the doctor regularly and nothing was said about any of it! Now i think back for the past years and how ive bleed , had pain , bladder symptoms and now bone pain and it is all making sense. I am so angry that ive taken care of myself so well and now i feel cheated. I have 2 boys that i need to live for and now i dont know what my ultimate fate is , had i known that i had an abonormal pap in 07 i would have taken care of it. I am so scared i cant even stand to be alive right now! dying is my worst fear.
    I have an appt to goto the karmanos cancer institute in detroit for monday november 23rd... i know in my heart the news wont be good... especially because my family doc had found a bunch of blood in my urine and most of my cbc\^s are off. If there is anyone out there that i can talk to please contact me! thank you and God bless!
  • 11-20 -2009
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