to Deanna and everyone,
I am a regular visitor of this site and at first decide not to write here but just read survivor stories, but now I have the need to somehow share mine.
I have been diagnosed with cervical cancer last January 22, 2009 but it was last year of July that I felt something is wrong with my cervix, since I know how to feel my cervix inside and was doing it long time ago. I felt 3 hard sand-like bits just on the surface of my cervix and I became nervous and weak because I know something was wrong but never thought of cancer at that time. The first thing on my mind is to go see a gyno but my busy schedule prevented me and I was going to get married the next month ( I already have a 9y.o. daughter this time). Time passes so quickly then after one month (september 2008) I learned that I was pregnant and on october I have a bleeding and in two days I lost my baby, I went to hospital and they did a D&C, I went home after few days grieving and in pain. after 2-4 weeks the hospital sent me registered mail telling me to come for my appointment but since I felt better then and I went back to work I became so busy again that I keep on ignoring their calls and letters. Finally on January 22, 2009, after few more calls and registered mail I decided to go but still feeling I am just wasting my time going to this appointment since I feel good and I\^m pregnant again and have already made my first pre-natal check-up a week prior although after the gyno did have a look at me and had this spotting when I got home (I thought Im going to have a miscarriage again so I called the doctor and was told it\^s normal and I\^m fine)so when I get there the dr. immediately called me ( which was a surprise) upon seeing me, the dr. scolded me for ignoring their calls and letters and says that they almost ask the police to pick me up and bring me to hospital and there she mention the big C.
After hearing the word, although Im alone and appeared to be under control all the things I see around me is colored grey. As if I was watching a black and white tv. I was never allowed to go home and was admitted after the check-up, my life has change before my very eye. First thing on my mind is my daugther, I don\^t want to leave her so young. My husband, we\^re just married 5 months ago and we are so much in-love and I have waited all my life to find someone like him. I can\^t believe this is happening to me!
I was allowed to go home after the initial staging at that night, I was staged 1B1, surgery is after two weeks. As soon as I got home I go to the internet and bombarded myself with information about everything I have heard with my gyn-oncs. The informations I\^ve got helped me to accept the reality and gain my confidence on this terrible disease. Indeed knowledge is power. And together with the moral support of my loved-ones especially my husband who, despite of my situation, keeps me happy and makes me laugh all the time (most of these times I forgot that I was diagnosed with cancer) telling me I will be okay and that we don\^t have time to be sad and crying will not help, so what he did while we are waiting for the surgery is he always make sure I am happy and that I laugh a lot everyday, all day (it works!!!) after the operation they told me that the tumor is localized and I am still stage 1B1, they removed 50 lymphnodes and all were clear. No further treatment. I was so happy and relieved. I thank all my doctors and I thank God. Now I\^ve done 2 check-ups already, all is clear, 6 months has passed and I feel on top of the world, although, I cannot have a baby inside me anymore that does not prevent me from being happy.
Deanna and all others, please avoid being scared, there is hope. You are not alone. As you go along this journey you will learn a lot, grow a lot and will get stronger and stronger. What is important now is to prepare your body and mind and soul for your recovery. No matter what your treatment is you need to recover and fast and get along with life again. Life is full of challenges. This is just one. Stay happy and strong. Goodluck! You are all in my prayers. God Bless You All!