I don\^t know what to do.
I feel entirely alone and I\^m typing to strangers. I had my first abnormal pap smear six years ago. That was followed by cryotherapy which seemed to take care of things. Then last year another abnormal pap, high grade this time. It was followed with LEEP.
Now, just one year later, my poor cervix is in worse shape than ever. My colposcopy just confirmed that it\^s back and it\^s bad, though carcinoma was not mentioned by the receptionist who called to tell me and refer me to a gyno. I did manage to get out of her - high grade on ECC and dysplasia without associated stroma.
I cried the whole colposcopy, and I can\^t stop crying now.
This is emotional for me because I so want to have children and a repeat LEEP (or worse) may make that impossible. Also, I am one of the thousands of uninsured in this great nation and I don\^t know how I will pay for it. I\^m new to this town, to this state; my relationship with my boyfriend is strained (he\^s actually not speaking to me and out of the country).
There\^s no one I can tell what\^s going on. No one but strangers.
I feel at the end of my rope.